UGH had such a fat few days.
Was massively hanging yesterday, like worse than I've been in a long time. So obviously my natural reaction was to eat half the world.
I didn't actually log my calories, think it may have made me cry. But it was bad. Subway, Pizza Hut, Ben and Jerrys. Horrificness.
Then I was at work today and it was just a nightmare. My eating always gets screwed up on days I'm working, but today was just like D: Up til lunch I was okay, like more than usual cos I had to go to the docs (explain in a min) and then I had to eat a full meal to take this tablet they gave me, then I had snacks in work cos I couldn't eat til super late, so Pombears and Mini Eggs seemed the way forward :/ Then just to top it off, McDonalds on the way home! Eeeeek. Gonna stop myself from ruining another day by carrying on now though.
Tomorrow will be bad as well, I'm staying at my sisters, and she's said we'll get a take-away or something :/ wah wahhhh.
But yeah so the doctors. I'm not thin enough for it to worry me when I go, I'm not at risk or anything, and I really had to go for the morning after pill :/ I'm such a hoebag, we went out to cheer me up (from the whole breaking up with the most perfect boyfriend ever thing) and I ended up totally randomly seeing the guy from the union on wednesday! Such bizarreness.
Anyway, long story short, we ended up getting it on and I was stupid cos I was drunk and didn't make him use anything, and of course everyone knows guys don't give a shit, so I had to go get the morning after pill. And then eat a full meal to make it work properly. And cos I knew I was going into work and wouldn't get a proper meal for a while (and its more effective the sooner you take it) I had to have a proper full-size lunch, rather than just soup or something. Pain in the arse.
Anyway, the point of this story was that I had to get weighed while I was there so that I could go on the Pill, and I was SO nervous about getting on the scale with the nurse in the room - what if my scales had been wrong and I was more than I was expecting and I cried or something? - but it wasn't so bad. I came up as 56.3 kg fully clothed. I work in stones and pounds, so that works out as 124lbs, or 8 stone 12. Which is only a pound more than I come in at on my scales. So it was okay, specially after I ate so much yesterday, I wasn't expecting great things.
So scared I'm going to go back over 9 stone (126) again, all I've wanted for as long as I can remember is to be under 9 stone. Hopefully I will just get further and further away from it, in the right direction.
Love and light thoughts