Tuesday, 8 January 2013

Angry, Angry and Weak

So excessively angry right now. And I know I'm being pathetic.

I also apologise for my language.

This girl who I was really close friends with in college and then totally turned on me and became a total two-faced whorey bitch has the onesie I want. I understand this is totally an over-reaction but it just makes me want to scratch her face, and because I can't, scratch myself until some of the anger is gone.
I'm not a self-harmer. I am writing this to prevent myself from doing it. That would be bad.

And she's got really fucking skinny.

I'm so angry I want to be sick.

I was feeling okay today, even allowed myself some chocolate. Now I just want to vom it all back up again, but I can't because I've never been able to purge.

I am letting myself become this disgusting fat mess while she is skinnying it up in my hedgehog onesie.

One day I will be so skinny that no-one will be skinnier than me, I 'll be able to laugh at them all in their fatness.

I need to restrict and I need to detox. Now.

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