One of Those Days

6 days and counting til Cambodia.

I'm mid-pack, mid-panic.

Part of me is completely terrified and convinced I've made a mistake. The other part of me cannot wait to be on another continent.

That Guy is moving to his uni town for the rest of summer, to be with his stupid girlfriend I imagine, though he says its for work. It sucks anyway. Bothers me way more than it should, which makes me nervous. I thought I was beginning to get over him. Fuckity fuck.

Oh and I'm quitting my job after this weekends work. Shit pay, shit hours, shit job.

Feel like I need a giant pause button for the world.

I almost wish I was leaving for longer, then I might actually tell That Guy that I like him, because I could run away without having to face the aftermath.

What the hell is wrong with me. He has a girlfriend, he is happy. I need to stop being such a pathetic whiney-arse and get my shit together.

FUCK.

Confused Little Noggin.

It is now less than two weeks til I go to Cambodia.
I'm hoping to sweat out a lot of weight over there since it's so humid all the time. Good pre-Ibiza diet I think.

Eating has been going terribly. I'm a lump. I had a salad when my friends went to Nando's last night, but then I ate some Spicy Space Raiders when I got in :/

No idea on weight, haven't got access to scales.

I think I might be beginning to get over That Guy. I met a really cute Scottish lad out on Tuesday, and I saw him last night. We got on so well, but he's going back to Scotland today (he was only here for 2 weeks on work). I'm pretty gutted tbh. I'll probably never see him again. Probably a good thing though, I shouldn't just flick my emotions like this.
I clearly do still like That Guy though. He changed his profile picture to one of him and his girlfriend, and it hurt. But not that much. Think I've pretty much written him off as a lost cause.
Plus I have a sneaky feeling that one of the guys we're both friends with thinks I'm better off without him. Nothing concrete, but he said some weird stuff while we were drunk. Though half the time he's telling me to go for it. Hmm.

On that note, I'll leave you.
Love and light thoughts

She Works For The Weekend

First night back home in a nutshell?

• I sat on the floor of a toilet cubicle with my friend complaining about how we can't make ourselves sick.
• I told a guy I barely know from school that he needs a haircut.
• I later ended up retching in different toilets alone, then downing a bottle of water.
• I (most likely) made an embarrassment of myself shamelessly flirting with the guy I like, despite knowing full well he has a girlfriend.
• I think that guys brother (who I hooked up with a while ago) flirted with me. Hard to judge, I was very drunk.
• I managed to somehow piss my ex off so badly he ended up yelling at me across town and made me cry.
• When I got home I ate a bowl full of leftover stuffing.

So all in all it was a pretty typical night out in my hometown. What is wrong with me?

I have absolutely no idea what has happened to my alcohol tolerence. I seriously cannot hold my alcohol anymore, even on a stomach full of carbs like yesterday. But then I was mixing drinks (Vodka, wine, southern comfort, sambuca, jagermeister). Never a good idea for a lightweight like me.

I don't understand why I'm such a pathetic drinker, it's not like I'm this little tiny thing or anything!

Ugh, anyways, off to be a good little daughter and make merry for fathers day.

Love and light thoughts!

Homeward Bound

Today is my last day at uni this year. My papa is coming to get me tomorrow lunchtime. This time tomorrow I should (hopefully) be very very close to home.
I'm going out with my friends almost as soon as I get back. Very excited.
Its strange being in my room when all my stuff is packed up. It feels rather bare. Although a lot of stuff is staying here over summer, since we're coming back to the same house next year. 

Tonight I'm going out with my housemates for a buffet thingy. Should be nice, thought terribly fatty. I figure it's allowed with it being a goodbye meal and all. May even have a glass of wine to help it go down.

Afro came over last night. It's so strange when I'm with him.
When we're lying in bed, its so peaceful and calm. We don't usually talk too much, but last night he told me I smell nice (Thank you Victoria's Secret) and we talked until I laughed so hard I nearly cried.
Then this morning he left with nothing more than a "have a good summer" and a quick kiss. I won't see him again til October, and thats all I get?
It a weird situation. I know we're not dating or anything. But we're definitely doing SOMETHING. Neither of us have slept with anyone else since we started up again. I don't know. Maybe I'm making something out of nothing.

Love and light thoughts darlings

Life, You Can Count Me Out Tonight.

So I am currently in the wonderful position of being hungover, sat in by myself, writing my dissertation proposal, while I listen to my next door neighbour (who happens to be the ex of the guy I'm sleeping with) have a party at which two of my housemates are attending. And that I wasn't invited to. And Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is on tv.
Oh and all the while I'm texting my ex-boyfriend.

What a shitty night this is turning out to be. Hating on life right now.

I'm going to eat a big bag of Doritos, finish my work as fast as humanly possible and put on a shitty film. Depending on how that goes, I may text the guy that is, to all intents and purposes, using me for sex when I am drunk.

And who said uni is the best time of your life.

SUCK IT BITCHES

I am a terrible blogger, I know.

Haven't been posting because my whole diet situation has gone out the window entirely. I'm actually kind of embarressed.

BUT I will be getting back on it today, seeing as I found at yesterday I'm getting a free holiday to IBIZAAA in August! How bloody amazing is that? Me and my sister are going for a week, we've got some amazing hotel, VIP entry to Space, the whole works. Bloody helllll.
We fly out exactly a week after I get back from Cambodia.
So to my 'friends' that booked to go to Barcalona for a long weekend without telling me... SUCK IT BITCHES

On that note, I saw photos on FB of those same friends out on a night out at home (I'm still at uni til Saturday) with the guy that I like (who has a girlfriend) and some of his mates. I'm kind of annoyed, but I guess they are sort of friends. It annoys me though, because out of my group of friends, it is definitely me that is the most friendly with them. Does that make any sense?

I'm rambling.

Anyway, current weight: 128 lbs (considering last nights Dominos, could defintely be worse)
I have 24 days til Cambodia, 56 days til Ibiza.
I need to get skinny URGENTLY.

However, I have noticed that the impossible has happened. I do believe I have a thigh gap. I shall post a picture later for you to consider, but for now, HOLIDAY SHOPPING!

Love and light thoughts!

Sunshine and Freedom

So since Friday I have been eating horrifically. Shan't think about it. Can't think about it.

Sunshine is making me happy enough to not be too bothered.

My next door neighbour hates me because I'm sleeping with her ex. Technically I was sleeping with him last year before they even got together.

The guy that I really like from home has just changed his facebook status to In A Relationship.

Sucky crapness.

Other than that, it was a very good end of exams weekend, with lots of alcohol but minimal embarressment.

Friday --> London: Watched a BBC3 show being filmed, went out in Soho with my sister
Saturday --> Work: crazy Ukrainian wedding, free alcohol and good tips
Sunday --> Lovely BBQ and drinks with one of my besties
Monday --> Sunbathing and night out

I have sunburnt half of my face.