So I think I may officially be going crazy.
I am stressed beyond belief and I want to drop out of uni altogether.
I am simply not coping.
I've gained after this horrible weekend of eating. 126. I am back over 9 stone. I shall be restricting like a bitch. That is the only form of control I have left in my life.
I have to meet with my personal tutor soon. I don't know what to tell her. How do you explain in the middle of an office that your life has gone down the shitter and you want to curl up and never face the world again?
I almost want to ask for a counsellor, but I don't know what I'd tell them. According to doctors and BMI and all that shit, I am perfectly healthy. On the outside there is nothing wrong with me.
I am decaying inside. There is something wrong with my as an emotional human being.
All I want is for July to hurry up so I can escape to Cambodia for a month.
Maybe I'll become a cliche and find myself out there.
Maybe I'll never come back.