Coming Home

So I've not posted in a couple of days, I'm sorry.

I've been too embarressed to really.

I've been eating so so so much its ridiculous. I haven't even been tracking calories because I know it'll just depress me. Its just impossible at home, I can't control what I have for tea, my mum keeps buying me snacks that I love but are just so fatty (like humous). Then I have to eat them because otherwise I get funny looks that say 'why aren't you eating?'

My dad already thinks I'm too skinny even though I'm so not so he keeps force-feeding me shit. I feel like I've gone wild and just can't control what enters my mouth anymore, even when I'm alone I'm just eating eating eating constantly. UGH.

Progressively managed to make my life even more awkward in the four days I've been home.
I very nearly slept with a guy I've known since college, we're always friendly but its never gone past a little harmless flirting, which was good. Then on Tuesday night (student night in my town), it changed. He kissed me, and I didn't stop him. And then we carried on kissing. And instead of getting a taxi home with my friends, I went back to his. We didn't have sex, but other stuff happened.

And the real cincher? I slept with his brother two years ago. My life is a MESS.

So anyway, now I have no idea whats happening with that. We've not spoken since, but we don't speak all that regularly anyway. I do have his hoodie that I need to give him back though. And a bracelet, but I'm keeping that.

I really hope it doesn't make life awkward. Everyone said the next day that they had all been waiting for this to happen for ages, but I don't think so. I mean, yeah we flirt and we've had a few almost-kisses in the past, but that doesn't necessarily mean it was always going to happen. I'm so confused.

And there was me thinking coming home would make life so much simpler.

Ho hum.