So I was thinking last night, trying to work backwards to where the beginning of my problems with food began. It wasn't something that was with me since childhood, I ate like an absolute monster when I was a child, because I was one of those kids that eat a ridculous amount, yet somehow are still super skinny. Shame that doesn't happen anymore!
I think my friend G might be partially to blame. We were best best friends as kids, and she was always on the chubby side. By the time we got to high school she was very aware of her weight, and was always telling me about ways to be healthy, slimming world, weightwatchers, drinking water when your hungry and so on and so on.
When we used to go out shopping she'd tell me to buy clothes a size or two too big, so they weren't too tight, and I think over the years it made a message sink on: You need to lose weight.
I've never been bigger than a size 10, but looking back at photos and the way size 10s fit me now, I think there was a time when I should have been in a 12 but I just kept wearing the smaller size anyway.
Now I'm not saying all of my issues with food are because of G, I know a lot of it must have been deep-seated in me to begin with, but I can't help but think she is somehow involved.
On a side note, she's really slim now. I was going to put up a photo to compare us, but I can't find any that include our bodies, only up to shoulder height or whatever. Last time we spoke she said she weighed about 132 or so, which is actually half a stone more than me, but I'm not so sure. She definitely looks thinner, and we're pretty much the exact same height, so who knows.
Hmm.
Love and light thoughts
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