Disaster Weekend

So yeah, my friend coming did totally fuck up my eating no end. Ate so much fucking chocolate. And I'm going out tomorrow, gonna look like an actual whale. Shit. More on that in a bit.

One of my housemates asked me to do this questionnaire for her coursework on diet and exercise and OH MY GOD I had to write my WEIGHT on the front of it! Distressing no end!! Did mean I got to sneaky find out how much a few of my other housemates weigh though which was interesting. I've guestimated their BMI's too, compared to mine  (cos we're all different heights and shit).

my bmi = 19.3
housemate 1 = 20.8
housemate 2 = 27.7

The ones I was most interested in, however, I didn't see. Upsetting.

But yeah, the quiz itself was just stressful, I had to tick boxes saying how often I felt confident, how emotionally stable I felt, etc etc and loads of people were in the room even though it was meant to be anonymous, and my pen was a different colour so everyone knows which was mine and it had my fucking weight on the front! Made me want to die inside a little bit. Ugh ugh ugh.

And when I weighed myself before the scales said 126. But now its gone back down to 124. So I don't even know how fat to feel.

I'm skipping lunch tomorrow and just going to have a light veggie tea, so hopefully I won't look awfully humungous when we go out. Its like major added stress cos these guys we know are coming to ours to predrink and I slept with one of them fairly recently and everyone keeps making jokes about it, and like I don't fancy him AT ALL but I kind of want him to fancy me if that makes any sense at all, and if I look all shitty his friends are going to be like ugh why on earth did you sleep with HER?! And my super beautiful skinny friend has very very recently become single again and its just stress stress stress.


Don't even know what to do.


And another friend is coming down on Friday, so I have til then to sort out this weekends food disasters before slamming straight back into another. Like seriously, I've been over 1500 cals like everyday since Friday.

And I ate a whole fucking share-size bag of chocolates today.

And my skin is fucking disgust, like all spots everywhere.


What is my life.


D: