Thursday, 7 February 2013

If Only I Had An Enemy Bigger Than My Apathy

I'm so listless at the moment.

I hate doing nothing but theres nothing I want to do. I spend my time missing lectures and sitting in the house bored out of my skull.

I just want to go to bed and sleep forever.

I think my mums worried about me. She's offered to pay for me to reinstate my gym membership which is like £75, just to give me something to do.

I don't understand why I feel like this. Emotions just seem to evade me.

I guess this is the post-break-up reaction, it just hit a little late. I was upset for like a day, then I seriously thought I was okay. I was even a little worried about how okay I was. But now... I just don't know. I don't feel like me.

Nothing seems important anymore.

I'm eating between 750 and 1000 calories a day, slightly more yesterday, my housemate bought me a kitkat as a treat, then sat watching me eat it, so I didn't get much of a choice really, and I'd already slurged and had 3 pieces of fudge which was a bit of a nightmare. I'm eating super healthy at mealtimes though; mainly soup, veg and tofu, although again yesterday I had a load of cous cous as well.

Could definitely be worse.

Weighed in at 123 again this morning, but thats on no food at all, just a mug of juice. I'll weigh again before bed and see if its changed at all.

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