Monday, 20 May 2013

Day One

Today is Day One

The beginning.

I was in way too much of a rush to weigh myself this morning (and my housemate gave me a load of shit to eat last night because she knew I was starting this today) so I'm not going to weigh for a little while now.

My last known weight was 129 lbs.

Next Monday I will weigh again.

So far, no cravings for chocolate or anything sweet. Good start I think. Had just under 900 cals so far today, might have a little snack later but I'm actually super full because I'm trying to drink like 2l of water a day, so I literally cannot fit food in :)

My ex started texting me today. I really like talking to him, but it just makes me so confused. Everythings so natural with him. I guess that makes sense, we were together for 2 years. He knows that every now and then when things get shitty I stop eating. Not that thats happened for a while, these days being upset just makes me eat half the world. Totally sucks.
I'm so confused about talking to him again though. I really don't know where my heads at. Like I've been sleeping with this guy J, nothing emotional, just casual sex and conversation, but since the last time we slept together he's gone silent on me. What the hell is that all about?
And then there's still M from home who I do still like, but haven't been allowing myself to think about.
So what the hell do I feel for my ex still?

I'm almost glad I have my exams to distract me.
Can't wait to run away to Cambodia for a month. Only 45 days to go.
In the more immediate future, I'm so excited to see my sister Thursday. I know I'm going to end up eating about a million calories, but it'll be worth it to see her, especially since I get to combine it with going to see my best mate :)

But before any of that, my 9am exam tomorrow beckons.

Love and light thoughts darlings

"I know right now you think there is no reason,
But you'll see, please trust me,
nothing in life is easy."
Paloma Faith, Beauty of the End

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