Sunday, 12 May 2013

But I've Got High Hopes

So, here is the promised proper post.

Apologies again for my too-long absence, coming back to uni and starting exams seems to have thrown me a bit.
My weight is (too) slowly creeping back down now that I'm back in charge of my own food, but I've been eating way too much. Think my current weight is about 129lbs, which isn't wonderful, but isn't horrific either.
The past few days have been quite unusual in the sense that I've actually been feeling quite positive about how I look. My stomach often looks almost flat even.
I think the random heatwave helped, when its hot all I want is salad and ice lollies, rather than chocolate and heavy meals.

Life seems to be so weird these days. This guy J that I had a kind of thing with last year started talking to me again all the time (which I may have already mentioned?), but its got to the stage now where if we don't talk every day its unusual. Then after my friends birthday party on Thursday we slept together for the first time in a year or so. And it was surprisingly good. When he first kissed me I was surprised by just how strong my reaction was. Like I wasn't expecting to like it quite so much.
I mean, I like M from home right?

My head is so confused. Last year I really really liked J and he messed me about a bit, then I figured I was over him, but I'm worried I'm in danger of liking him again.

For now I'm just going to try and keep it super-casual. I mean its only a month til we go home for summer, and then we'll be a full hour apart, and I'm away for a month in Cambodia and its just not plausible. I cannot be doing with a boyfriend right now anyway, so I'm just not even going to think of it as an option, not with J, not with M, not with any other super-hot guy who happens to come my way.

Its slightly bizarre actually that they are the two guys I kind of like, I mean you could not get more different if you tried. One is mixed race complete with afro, one is a lanky ginger. Though they're both pretty damn tall. I have to go on tippy-toes to kiss either. 

Ack, my head is so fucked.

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