Wednesday, 4 September 2013

More Messed-Up-Ness

My relationship with food at the moment is extra weird.
Like I never feel hungry. Ever.
I tend to eat around the time I think I should be hungry, but it's more out of habit than anything.
If I happen to miss the time I would normally eat, a few hours later I'll just come over feeling horrendously ill all of a sudden. At which point I'll eat a little something.
It's strange really.
And I used to drink loads and loads of Ribena (FULL of sugar), but since I came back from Asia, I struggle to drink it as much, it makes my teeth feel disgusting. So I'm drinking way more water.
May as well make the most of it though I guess.
My big fat-ass self could do with missing a few meals here and there.

I was looking at photos to print out yesterday for a photo-frame my mum got me, and I found some from back just before christmas. I was SO much skinnier. And I thought I looked huge then. I was at least half a stone lighter than I am right now. I go back to uni in three weeks. Thats when I'll start being able to restrict properly again. In the meantime, I'll just have to do what I can.

Unsure on current weight, last time I weighed was a few days ago when I was at 133. F A T T Y.

On a side note, this guy that I slept with the other day by some ill-judgement, took me out on a date night before last. I know that I really shouldn't like him. But I think that just makes me like him more. My friends would freak if they knew what I'm doing. Not sure how long I can play the balancing act.
He did make me laugh though, said he was worried about me getting too attached seeing as he's not looking for a relationship. I was just like PLEASE, I am the Queen of non-emotional sex. I move up and down the country every couple of weeks, you get pretty used to breaking of attachments before they really begin.
He snap-chatted me a picture of himself the yesterday, and it just really reminded me how good shape he's in. Like not an ounce of fat. Then you've got Mrs Blobby over here. He kept asking me why I was sort of pulling the cover over me when we slept together. Surely it was obvious that I was hiding all my flab???

Anyways I'm really fucking late, adios!


  1. Man, I wish I could just curb my appetite like that! Never feeling hungry isn't exactly a good thing, but it surely is way much better than wanting to binge eat all the time!

  2. Yeah its kind of weird but I'm rolling with it.
    One meal a day seems to be doing me fine, and now even chocolate makes me wanna be sick.
    It's like an involuntary diet!