So I'm a terrible blogger.
I'll add it to my list of other bad things I've done recently.
I want to be back in Asia where no-one knows me and I can just melt away and disappear.
After uni I might try and get a job out there.
Sorry for my absence.
I've put on every single bit of weight I lost, weighed in this morning at 9st6lbs, or 132lbs. Thats pretty much where I was when I first wanted to lose weight.
Half my clothes don't fit me anymore.
The guy I like isn't interested.
His best friend is.
My ex is awful when I see him on nights out.
I slept with someone I shouldn't have.
Now one of my closest friends isn't talking to me.
I have so much to sort out that I'm burying my head in the sand.
I need to get away from everything.
I need to not be me for a while.
I would almost consider hurting myself.
But I can't cope with the pain.
Maybe if I get so so skinny people will stop making me do things.
Ironic really that this never started as a need for help.
It started because I'm fat.
And yet now, I'm still fat, and I need help.
Oh and it's my birthday this Saturday. 20 years old and a major fuck-up already.