Tuesday, 2 July 2013

Sudden Realisation

So I leave England in 38 hours. I'll be at the airport in 36. Holy shit.
I'm regretting the decision to go. I mean I'm excited and all, but I'm so fucking scared. This is like the fear of going to uni times a million. What made me think I could trot off to fucking ASIA by myself? I'm fucking retarded. Hyperventilating a little.

Jesus christ. What am I going to do out there? How the hell am I going to survive?
I mean, there is absolutely no question of me not going. That is simply not an option. I've paid a LOT, I've had the jabs, almost everything is ready to go.
I'm so so scared.

I'm going to miss home so freaking much. I can't even say a proper goodbye to my friends because they're in Barcalona.

Shit shit shit.

(Side note, I finally weighed this morning: fully clothed was 132lbs. not as bad as I feared. Plus I've been feeling pretty skinny which is bizarre. Go figure huh?)

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