Visits

Hey,

Sorry for taking a while to write, my sisters been staying with me and she's a bit funny about me counting calories, I've barely been able to keep track of them properly. I've eaten so much crap the last few days, yesterday was by far the worst. We'd been out drinking the night before, so we were both hanging, ended up having a Subway, and I just couldn't resist the mayo and a bag of Dorito's. Then just to make it a billion times worse, my mum came down too and bought a chinese! All that fried rice and chips and spring rolls, but I couldn't say I didn't want any of it cos my mum and sis would have kicked up a fuss D: Then this morning my mum made me scrambled egg, with about ten times more butter than I use :/ I weighed myself on my sisters scales and I've gone up to 130 again :( I don't know if its from all that crap (likely) or that my scales are out of sync and have been telling me I weigh less than I actually do. Either way, feeling like a whale.

Having tea with my sister again tonight so it'll no doubt be something carb heavy, not my usual light teas which focus on veg. And we're having an early christmas dinner at uni tomorrow night, the girl who ordered the food has ordered FOUR desserts! There's only bloody six of us! I'm going to have to try and just take loads of veg and skip the potatoes and crap as much as possible without attracting too much attention. Its upsetting, they go on and on about trying to lose weight, and spend all this money on weightwatchers and slimfast and i'm just like STOP EATING SO MUCH. Ack. Christmas is going to be a nightmare. I can't eat without feeling super guilty. Going to have to try and only eat veg this whole week til I get home for christmas, because I know my mum is going to just pile food on me, and if I complain even a little tiny bit, I get all these disapproving looks like "why haven't you finished your food, your such a whale we know you can fit it all in."

I'm never going to be skinny if people keep doing this to me, and I keep doing this to myself.
Give me strength.